Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

Wait, is Batman about to shoot the Flash for losing? Kinda' brutal, no?

I'm actually more concerned that the low speed of sound compared to the speed and reaction times of both Flash and Superman renders the whole test invalid even before it's a practical joke.

I think Superman is actually between Batman and the Flash, so it's the guys behind who are in danger (Wonder Woman can deflect bullets, so she's ok).

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 329089​

I have this on a t-shirt:

 

[topsquark]

I have this on a t-shirt:View attachment 329091

Hey! I've got something on my t-shirt, too! Oh, wait. Well, it'll come out in the wash.

-Dan

 

[WWGD]

My baloney has a middle name.
Not really, just didn't want to feel left out.

 

[topsquark]

My baloney has a middle name.
Not really, just didn't want to feel left out.

Well, my baloney has a first name...

Yes, I seriously dated myself there.

-Dan

 

[WWGD]

Well, my baloney has a first name...

Yes, I seriously dated myself there.

-Dan

Nick at Nite was my thing for a while . Didn't watch a single post-70s show for a few months.

 

[WWGD]

Get yourself a good cable setup, an app to order food, and you can stay inside for weeks at a time.

 

[topsquark]

Get yourself a good cable setup, an app to order food, and you can stay inside for weeks at a time.

Barney Miller just has no modern day equivalent.

Dietrich! OMG!

-Dan

 

[jack action]

"Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in Braille.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[phinds]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Borg]

Actually it's an Italian song about the ocean - Ode da sea.

 

[jtbell]

Coming soon to the biggest arena they can find:

Zuckerbeef vs. the Musk Ox.

 

[WWGD]

Lady told me she gave me the last of the ice she had for my drink.
" I only have ice for you".

 

[hmmm27]

Lady told me she gave me the last of the ice she had for my drink.
" I only have ice for you".

"Water, you serving everybody else ?"

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[berkeman]

From FB today:

 

[DaveC426913]

Coming soon to the biggest arena they can find:

Zuckerbeef vs. the Musk Ox.

Zuckerburger was right there!

 

[phinds]

 

[johntpl]

View attachment 329214

And the Cretan beside her in the passenger seat repeating, ‘I told you, the light is green!’

 

[jack action]

I was watching a show for about 10 minutes, and this lady was listing all of these great things to do for fun.

Then I realized that it was one of these religious channels, and she was reading a list of sins.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Invasion of the Candy People?

I prefer yellow

 

[phinds]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

Some dark humor:

 

[jack action]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 329243​

That may explain why they crash.

 

[jack action]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 329264

Reminds me of my buddy and I exploring remote mountain roads in my truck, in Northern California. From time to time we would come to some small town, which usually had a sign warning
SLOW
CHILDREN

We always wondered why so many towns had slow children.

 

[jtbell]

A woman had a heart attack. She had a vision of God standing by her bedside.

"God, am I going to die?"

"No, you'll live another 30 years. I promise."

She did indeed recover, and decided she might as well make the most of her 30 years. She lost weight, got Botox, had a tummy-tuck, cosmetic surgery, etc. After her final procedure, she crossed the street in front of the clinic, was hit by a car, and died.

"God, what about those 30 years?"

"I didn't recognize you."

 

[Ibix]

Scientists have recently turned back time. Turns out you get "emit".

(Respect to Colin Mochrie)

 

[Borg]

Reminds me of my buddy and I exploring remote mountain roads in my truck, in Northern California. From time to time we would come to some small town, which usually had a sign warning
SLOW
CHILDREN

We always wondered why so many towns had slow children.

I always liked the Three Stooges episode where they decided to fish because the sign said "Fine for fishing".

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I always liked the Three Stooges episode where they decided to fish because the sign said "Fine for fishing".

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DrGreg]

View attachment 329337

I'm more interested in currant affairs.

 

[topsquark]

I'm more interested in currant affairs.

That comment was out of lime.

-Dan

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Tourists flocked to the National Park when it was announced that Death Valley may hit a high temp of 130 degrees F.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...t-Earths-hottest-temperature-131F-Sunday.html

I think this is clear evidence that tourism is a form of insanity!

 

[Borg]

I recently discovered the word tourons which is a portmanteau of tourist and morons. I think this fits nicely in that category.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

His clothing color choice is interesting.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/death-valley-hottest-place-on-earth-near-record-high-heat-wave/