Collection of Lame Jokes

[berkeman]

Punctuation is important, peoples!

 

[WWGD]

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 365583

Won't it also waft the alcoholic smell all around?

Only if the meeting’s participants have installed Zoom’s Smell-O-Vision plugin.

 

[WWGD]

Only if the meeting’s participants have installed Zoom’s Smell-O-Vision plugin.

In Odorama.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[berkeman]

 

[Bandersnatch]

Laziness might very well have been an Olympic sport all this time. It's just that it's always cancelled, because you don't qualify if you show up.

 

[Swamp Thing]

Meeting:

"And what can you contribute to our discussion?"
"Nothing."
"So why are you here?"
"I like the company of like-minded people."

I see that this post has been read by at least four "

" minded people.

 

[Swamp Thing]

Or someone put a dead fly there, took a picture and uploaded it to the internet as a meme.

Or the pane is made of sugar glass.

 

[WWGD]

Or the pane is made of sugar glass.

I could feel the pane.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 365730

I have a colleague who claims he won an award for procrastination, and he'll be going to collect it any day now.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

The text says: I once was a truck.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[symbolipoint]

Using post #23069,
...., and his last name was Figaro.

 

[WWGD]

Using post #23069,
...., and his last name was Figaro.

But Bingo wasn't his name-o.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 365784

Amusing. But did not happen.

Real pic. But no reports of driving on highway or any accidents caused.

 

[WWGD]

Amusing. But did not happen.

Real pic. But no reports of driving on highway or any accidents caused.

And the moose ( mooses?meese?), were both bold and fat.

 

[WWGD]

I ran again into an email were a former student wrote " Two sammurais" to mean " To summarize". I'm not sure if it waa intended as a joke.

 

[Ibix]

I ran again into an email were a former student wrote " Two sammurais" to mean " To summarize". I'm not sure if it waa intended as a joke.

Two samurais, I ninja to give me some feedback.

 

[DaveC426913]

I ran again into an email were a former student wrote " Two sammurais" to mean " To summarize". I'm not sure if it waa intended as a joke.

Autocorrupt.

People don't seem to realize that autocorrect tends to pull from words they use commonly. If it changes ""Kiss the cook" to ... something else, there's a good bet that's something the sender uses frequently in their vocabulary.

I heard this from My Little Brony a little birdie.

 

[gmax137]

And the moose ( mooses?meese?), were both bold and fat.

Furry Worry were a moose
Furry Worry had no hair to loose
Furry Worry weren't furry, were he?

 

[berkeman]

 

[jack action]

View attachment 365784

Amusing. But did not happen.

Real pic. But no reports of driving on highway or any accidents caused.

Sometimes a post feels like déjà vu; now I'm seeing complete exchanges coming back:

Another one from Facebook (so I'm not sure it's true, but still pretty funny):

View attachment 365170

Photo true; account false.

"The photograph displayed above features an amusing juxtaposition of the usual hunter/prey relationship (the two beer-swilling moose are an especially nice touch), but that's all it is. Driving with one's vision impeded by a head covering and causing multiple traffic accidents falls far outside the realm of a joke, and no news account documents any such occurrence of multiple "moose head shock" vehicle collisions having taken place on a Maine interstate (or anywhere else)."

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/moose-hunters/

Snopes is awesome. They go to great lengths to verify stories. I rarely find an urban legend they haven't examined.

Did I go through the entire Internet?

 

[berkeman]

Did I go through the entire Internet?

Yes. Just go to bed. But have a taco first...

 

[symbolipoint]

And the moose ( mooses?meese?), were both bold and fat.

Is the adjective misspelled and you really meant, "bald"?

( the possible choices for plural of moose is interesting. I like the second one, since parallel with goose-geese.)

 

[WWGD]

Is the adjective misspelled and you really meant, "bald"?

( the possible choices for plural of moose is interesting. I like the second one, since parallel with goose-geese.)

Yes, I ment bald. I baldly went there .

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

A guy wakes up after a long coma.

“OMG, I gotta post on Twitter and tell everyone I’m back!”

“No, X.”

“Y?”

 

[WWGD]

New radio station on philosophical topics :
WYOY.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Borg]

View attachment 365821

They're both the same - one is just covered in more plastic than the other.

 

[fresh_42]

They're both the same - one is just covered in more plastic than the other.

You mean plastic outside versus plastic inside?!

 

[fresh_42]

Every loaf of bread is a tragic story about a group of grains that could have become beer but didn't.

 

[phinds]

 

[berkeman]

 

[WWGD]