Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

 

[Baluncore]

There is a kind of Mushroom that if eaten once is enough to feed a person Until the end of his life.

After consuming Amanita, it can take a week. After having the symptoms of a mild cold for two or three days, you get pretty hungry, especially on the 4th day when you feel much better. Just when you thought the illness was over, you enter three days of progressive liver, then multiple organ failure, and it is your life that is over.

Is there a faster acting toxic fungi than Amanita toxin ?

 

[WWGD]

After consuming Amanita, it can take a week. After having the symptoms of a mild cold for two or three days, you get pretty hungry, especially on the 4th day when you feel much better. Just when you thought the illness was over, you enter three days of progressive liver, then multiple organ failure, and it is your life that is over.

Is there a faster acting toxic fungi than Amanita toxin ?

Any way of telling appart the edible from the toxic?

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 339840

A pigeon is a machine for converting bird seed into cat food.

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[phinds]

This is my next shop tool, in case I need more drilling power than the battery can provide

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jbriggs444]

Any way of telling appart the edible from the toxic?

There is the obvious way. As above, it takes about seven days.

 

[WWGD]

There is the obvious way. As above, it takes about seven days.

Well, my antidepressant finally kicked in, so that option's out for now.

 

[DaveC426913]

I was watching Australian Master Chef the other day.

Some guy made a meringue and everyobdy cheered.

Which is weird because they usually boo meringue.

 

[WWGD]

I was watching Australian Master Chef the other day.

Some guy made a meringue and everyobdy cheered.

Which is weird because they usually boo meringue.

How about the other guy, Jerry? What did Jerry do?

 

[jack action]

Not really a joke - because it is true - but it made me laugh.

So I'm checking this thread which led me to look for ad blockers. Then I'm checking my PF account settings after reading this thread. I, of course, use a browser where I'm not logged into my PF account to see who can view my profile. Because I'm not logged in, I have now ads on every PF page. This Google ad pops in:

I'm not sure what is more funny:

• The audacity of Google to show this ad;
• Or the irony of an ad blocker using ads (with Google Ad - no less!)

 

[gmax137]

I was watching Australian Master Chef the other day.

Some guy made a meringue and everyobdy cheered.

Which is weird because they usually boo meringue.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Orodruin]

Dump him!

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 339891

Dump him!

As long as they're not $cos(nz)$ ( I can hear the banjo playing)

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

King of the road!

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 339906

'Kant' is not pronounced like 'can't', neither the British nor the American version. It is pronounced like a word I will not use here. Will say, there is no excuse for you to mispronounce it like e.g. Schrödinger.

 

[WWGD]

'Kant' is not pronounced like 'can't', neither the British nor the American version. It is pronounced like a word I will not use here. Will say, there is no excuse for you to mispronounce it like e.g. Schrödinger.

I bet Chaka Khan can ..

 

[difalcojr]

Ach, ich bin ein dummkopf! Schiff! Oh, Schutz! Having trouble mit Lifshitz again.

 

[WWGD]

I got some looks a while back when I mixed dummkopf with dummf$%k.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[topsquark]

View attachment 339918

I know, right? Those nails are bitchin'!

-Dan

 

[WWGD]

 

[Borg]

I have one of those at my house.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 339950

That's a-llama-ing.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Halc]

View attachment 339957

The initial comment I had was that 'resistance is futile'.

I mean, if the killers offered no resistance, then the two on the bottom left will short out the load, and the two on the right would not be currently killing. (or not killing current?)

If the killers do offer resistance, then what's the point of the surplus resistor in either circuit?

And it's not strictly parallel either. One per line please. Jokes should get it right.

 

[WWGD]

Chill, we already have two Germans, the compliance quota has been filled.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 339961

I always imagine what it would be like to make a similar such call and reach the wrong number: " Oh, apologies. Then tell your neighbor, I will kill him".