Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

Spoiler

Its acorn cob making a baby with a piece of candy --> a candy corn abomination was born

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[berkeman]

View attachment 291425

Sorry, I need a spoiler post to help me understand. I'm slow sometimes...

 

[fresh_42]

Sorry, I need a spoiler post to help me understand. I'm slow sometimes...

I have no idea either, but maybe this one is related, which I also did not understand:

 

[BillTre]

Biden was convinced by Manchin to go with the sub-optimal candy.
Lots of people don't think much of candy corn.
This parallels current political on-goings.

 

[JT Smith]

View attachment 291424​

We used to do that. We'd buy a bunch of those mini cans of vegetables (beets, corn, peas) and then ask the trick-or-treaters: "Do you want candy or vegetables?" And the little kids would say, with some concern in their tiny voices: "Candy!"

But the older kids would ask for the vegetables. By the end of the night we'd always have some candy left but the canned vegetables would be gone.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 291433

You have forgotten

 

[WWGD]

You have forgotten

View attachment 291434

A toilet plunger?

 

[fresh_42]

A toilet plunger?

I was looking for a whisk that looked like a whisk like a hex key looks like a screwdriver.

And that thingy was actually taken from an Ikea site!

 

[Keith_McClary]

The Duplex by Glenn McCoy and Gary McCoy for February 16, 2021​

 

[Filip Larsen]

I was looking for a whisk that looked like a whisk like a hex key looks like a screwdriver.

Somehow this one strikes me as just as good a match in applicability for cake assembly as the usual Ikea Allen wrenches are for furniture assembly (with the bonus of being applicable to both types of assembly):

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[jtbell]

What do you call a hotdog stuffed with candy corn?

A happy hollow weenie.

 

[phinds]

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV...

The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob. "Fair's fair. Here's your money."

Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news, so I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied, "I did, too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Bob took the money.

 

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

View attachment 291463

That must be a record in the repost category: 26 posts apart! And I know it was posted at least once before. (And to think I wrote it down back then instead of posting the meme to save bandwidth and do my part for the environment )

Have we gone through the entire Internet already?

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

Age test: What has this ...

View attachment 291465​

... to do with that ...

 

[berkeman]

Ooo, ooo, I know!

Spoiler

The pencil fits into the spool of the tape cartridge to tighten any loose tape. Somehow they were just the right size to be a match. Sigh, I guess that makes me really old...