Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #12,121
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  • #12,122
  • #12,123
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  • #12,124
WWGD said:
When I was in high school, we went on a field trip to court. It was one person after another pleading guilty or not guilty to whatever they were accused of, mostly misdemeanors. It was kind of boring to watch.

One guy, looking a little weird, like he's having a hangover or something, stands in court - handcuffed and all - and the accusation begins in a very serious manner:

«Mister so-and-so is accused of stealing a car. Make, model, and year being a Chevrolet Caprice Classic 1986.»

Me and my body looked at each other and we were thinking: «Hey, that's the same model as a police car. Wouldn't it be funny if ...» And the accusation going on, still with a very serious tone:

«The property was owned by the local police department.»

Me and my body could barely hold back our laughter. Enough that the judge, lawyers, and everybody else turned back to look at us like they were wondering what was going on. All I could think of was «Don't you get it? He didn't steal a car, the idiot stole a POLICE car!»

Apparently, it was only funny to me and my body.
 
  • #12,125
I always thought I would wish for love, money, and fame. Now, this is what I want to do:

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  • #12,126
I'm reminded of a quote I saw somewhere of someone checking with a forum that "1 is true, 0 is false, right?" To which some genius responded "1", an answer that is both perfectly correct and totally unhelpful.
 
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  • #12,127
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  • #12,128
Ibix said:
I'm reminded of a quote I saw somewhere of someone checking with a forum that "1 is true, 0 is false, right?" To which some genius responded "1", an answer that is both perfectly correct and totally unhelpful.
I remember someone being asked about ( along the lines of*):
Do you know Julie Ormandy?
Only Julie.

* Last name started with ' Or'.
 
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  • #12,129
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  • #12,131
Here's another dog joke.
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  • #12,132
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  • #12,133
In cash money news,given the recent value drop of Rubles Russia has introduced a new type of cash register...

7885d0a6fdddb53735cb4fa0d33270d2.jpg


Money laundering now also has a new meaning
 
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  • #12,134
I had a racing snail once... tried to make it go faster by removing its shell.
But it just made it more slug..ish
 
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  • #12,136
Ibix said:
"Click on the squares that do not contain dogs".

Now I'm afraid I might be a robot...
I bit something. And it didn't taste like a muffin...
 
  • #12,137
They could have included some harp seal pups:

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  • #12,138
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  • #12,139
Puttin on a Ritz:
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  • #12,140
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  • #12,141
All the things this heater has seen:
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  • #12,142
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  • #12,144
Not sure whether this isn't "preplanned" but found it funny anyway
 
  • #12,145
artis said:
Not sure whether this isn't "preplanned" but found it funny anyway
To me it looks very dangerous ##-## the foot end of the underside of the mattress shows a large tear ##-## the mattress has steel springs in it ##-## I don't see a way to in advance rule out an unacceptably high risk of possibly serious injury.
 
  • #12,146
sysprog said:
To me it looks very dangerous ##-## the foot end of the underside of the mattress shows a large tear ##-## the mattress has steel springs in it ##-## I don't see a way to in advance rule out an unacceptably high risk of possibly serious injury.
Most likely an airbag. I've seen even worse videos where one sits right on top of one and just blows himself up. I mean one can easily brake the spinal cord or as minimum cause disc hernia with something like that.
Anyway , who am I to say to others on how they should injure themselves...:biggrin:
 
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  • #12,147
artis said:
Most likely an airbag. I've seen even worse videos where one sits right on top of one and just blows himself up. I mean one can easily brake the spinal cord or as minimum cause disc hernia with something like that.
Anyway , who am I to say to others on how they should injure themselves...:biggrin:
It's three airbags, with steel springs between them and the recipient of their force ##-## in my opinion, whatever funniness the prank may conduce, it's not worth the attendant risk of potentially serious injury.
 
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  • #12,148
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  • #12,149
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  • #12,150
Here are the final steps of my new wine glass!
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