Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

 

[strangerep]

View attachment 298177

Nah, I think the shepherds just got bored of sheep.

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 298179

Alfred doesn't need to worry... all entrance to the cave has been banned since 2009.

https://carolinaoutdoorsguide.com/bat-cave-preserve/

I've driven past that sign on I-26 many times, and through the village of Bat Cave and nearby Lake Lure a few times.

 

[jack action]

I was wondering why music was coming from my printer.

Apparently, the paper was jamming.

 

[jack action]

Why only billionaires are going into the space rocket business?

Spoiler: Answer

Because there's no such thing as a free launch.

 

[fresh_42]

Good news for princesses. With the high gas prices, princes will soon really come on horseback.

 

[WWGD]

Good news for princesses. With the high gas prices, princes will soon really come on horseback.

One of them will arrive in a motorcycle. With something in purple. And the revolution

 

[jack action]

 

[artis]

 

[artis]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

What was cool when you were young but isn't anymore?

Spoiler: Answer

Earth

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

I knew a Star Trek fan who called his goldfish Leonard My Koi.

 

[artis]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[256bits]

View attachment 298298

Who is pranking who??
In other words, it better be...

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

View attachment 298303View attachment 298304View attachment 298305View attachment 298306

When I was in high school, we went on a field trip to court. It was one person after another pleading guilty or not guilty to whatever they were accused of, mostly misdemeanors. It was kind of boring to watch.

One guy, looking a little weird, like he's having a hangover or something, stands in court - handcuffed and all - and the accusation begins in a very serious manner:

«Mister so-and-so is accused of stealing a car. Make, model, and year being a Chevrolet Caprice Classic 1986.»

Me and my body looked at each other and we were thinking: «Hey, that's the same model as a police car. Wouldn't it be funny if ...» And the accusation going on, still with a very serious tone:

«The property was owned by the local police department.»

Me and my body could barely hold back our laughter. Enough that the judge, lawyers, and everybody else turned back to look at us like they were wondering what was going on. All I could think of was «Don't you get it? He didn't steal a car, the idiot stole a POLICE car!»

Apparently, it was only funny to me and my body.

 

[jack action]

I always thought I would wish for love, money, and fame. Now, this is what I want to do:

 

[Ibix]

I'm reminded of a quote I saw somewhere of someone checking with a forum that "1 is true, 0 is false, right?" To which some genius responded "1", an answer that is both perfectly correct and totally unhelpful.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

I'm reminded of a quote I saw somewhere of someone checking with a forum that "1 is true, 0 is false, right?" To which some genius responded "1", an answer that is both perfectly correct and totally unhelpful.

I remember someone being asked about ( along the lines of*):
Do you know Julie Ormandy?
Only Julie.

* Last name started with ' Or'.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[artis]

Here's another dog joke.

 

[ergospherical]

 

[artis]

In cash money news,given the recent value drop of Rubles Russia has introduced a new type of cash register...

Money laundering now also has a new meaning

 

[Oggy_oggy_oggy]

I had a racing snail once... tried to make it go faster by removing its shell.
But it just made it more slug..ish

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 298413

"Click on the squares that do not contain dogs".

Now I'm afraid I might be a robot...

 

[WWGD]

"Click on the squares that do not contain dogs".

Now I'm afraid I might be a robot...

I bit something. And it didn't taste like a muffin...

 

[BillTre]

They could have included some harp seal pups:

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

Puttin on a Ritz:

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

All the things this heater has seen:

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[artis]

Not sure whether this isn't "preplanned" but found it funny anyway

 

[sysprog]

Not sure whether this isn't "preplanned" but found it funny anyway

To me it looks very dangerous $-$ the foot end of the underside of the mattress shows a large tear $-$ the mattress has steel springs in it $-$ I don't see a way to in advance rule out an unacceptably high risk of possibly serious injury.

 

[artis]

To me it looks very dangerous $-$ the foot end of the underside of the mattress shows a large tear $-$ the mattress has steel springs in it $-$ I don't see a way to in advance rule out an unacceptably high risk of possibly serious injury.

Most likely an airbag. I've seen even worse videos where one sits right on top of one and just blows himself up. I mean one can easily brake the spinal cord or as minimum cause disc hernia with something like that.
Anyway , who am I to say to others on how they should injure themselves...

 

[sysprog]

Most likely an airbag. I've seen even worse videos where one sits right on top of one and just blows himself up. I mean one can easily brake the spinal cord or as minimum cause disc hernia with something like that.
Anyway , who am I to say to others on how they should injure themselves...

It's three airbags, with steel springs between them and the recipient of their force $-$ in my opinion, whatever funniness the prank may conduce, it's not worth the attendant risk of potentially serious injury.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

Here are the final steps of my new wine glass!
.
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