Collection of Lame Jokes

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 320971​

Not a very compelling ad, in any case.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Or as a famous Dutch writer (Harry Mulisch) once said:
"My mortality remains to be proven..."

I guess it's fair to say that if I'm not immortal, I'll never know it.

 

[topsquark]

-Dan

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

Maybe a bit cruel:

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

Where does stuff that does its job but isn't brilliant get made?

Spoiler

In the satisfactory.

 

[Ibix]

I bought a dog off a blacksmith. When I got it home it made a bolt for the door.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

 

[strangerep]

View attachment 320971​

Is that really Kath Day (Jane Turner) or just a lookalike?

 

[Ibix]

I'm going bald. But a friend told me he's going bald too and swears by a natural solution, a rabbit skin cap. From a distance it looks like hare.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[256bits]

View attachment 321065

Should the camel be that happy looking?
Photoshop again - geez.

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 321128

A fashion designer combined the national dress of India with the carefree styling of Polynesia. He's calling it his "Sari, Sarong number"

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 321177

I actually LOL'ed at that one. I'm on a train. Got a few weird looks. Perhaps I should tell them the joke...?

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

I actually LOL'ed at that one. I'm on a train. Got a few weird looks. Perhaps I should tell them the joke...?

Why not? Wear a helmet, just in case they get an idea ;). Would be ironic if Jagger and team were there.

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

Tornado Drill​

Friday, we had a tornado drill. The PA announcement said: "This is a tornado drill. Please move quickly away from any and all windows."

Somebody yelled out: "Quick! Get to a DOS prompt."

 

[Ibix]

Tornado Drill​

Friday, we had a tornado drill. The PA announcement said: "This is a tornado drill. Please move quickly away from any and all windows."

Somebody yelled out: "Quick! Get to a DOS prompt."

Red Dwarf had an "abandon ship" alarm with the ship's computer repeating "This is not a drill! This is not a drill! This is a drill! <Plays recording of pneumatic drill> Abandon ship!"

 

[phinds]

Red Dwarf had ...

Gads, hadn't thought about THAT one in a very long time.