A couple of Chuck Norris favorites:
Chuck Norris can recite all of the digits of ##\pi##. Backwards.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris got rid of the Periodic Table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of species that Chuck Norris allows to live.
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris once went to a feminist rally and left with an ironed shirt and a sandwich.
-Dan