Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date Start date
  • Tags Tags
    Jokes
Join the discussion
Registration is free. Ask a follow-up in this thread, or start your own.
24,333 replies · 3M views
A grey haired Army General walks into a bar and sits down next to a young attractive woman.
They hit it off and she likes a man in uniform.
So she says "Why don't you come up to my room?"
The general says "I'm flattered. But at my age I'm not sure things would work the way you hope."
She says "But you're in good shape. Tell me, when was the last time you had sex?
"Oh" the general says; "It was probably 1950."
"OMG!" says the woman. "Well, I'm sure it will all come back to you."
So they end up in bed and it's pretty wild. The general really has some skills. When it's all over she says:
"General, that was WONDERful. I'm impressed that you haven't forgotten a thing since 1950."
The general says "I should hope not. It's only 2130 now."
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: Ibix, gmax137, BillTre and 1 other person
Physics news on Phys.org
A guy goes off to University, and has to fill out some paperwork:

Emergency Contact: [mother's name and address]
Relationship: Good
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes   Reactions: davenn, Ibix, BillTre and 1 other person
"C'mon, Eve, forget about that apple. Let's grill the snake!"
"I'm vegan."

... and that is how it all began ...
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Informative
Likes   Reactions: davenn, Wrichik Basu, jedishrfu and 4 others
Screenshot 2023-10-19 at 9.07.04 AM.png
 
  • Like
  • Love
Likes   Reactions: davenn, WWGD, phinds and 4 others
Maybe Jagger could get enough votes for Speaker of the House?
 
  • Haha
  • Love
Likes   Reactions: berkeman, Ibix, BillTre and 1 other person
The problem is that they were told to get more than one because catscan.
 
nuuskur said:
1697770382069.png
Is that an Esaw Woodsaw wood spoon?
Or a woodchuck chuck wood spoon.
 
FB_IMG_16978474680397786.jpg


(sorry, US citizens, but I thought it was too funny to avoid sharing 🙂)
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Skeptical
Likes   Reactions: nuuskur, Bystander, phinds and 1 other person
DennisN said:
View attachment 333927

(sorry, US citizens, but I thought it was too funny to avoid sharing 🙂)
What's wrong with you?? I'm an American and I take great offense to you making fun of my education. That's clearly Africa and you know it!

Dum*ss.

-Dan
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Likes   Reactions: nuuskur, Ibix, DennisN and 1 other person
Ok, to balance it out, here's a Norwegian joke about Swedes :smile::

Joke about Swedes.jpg
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Likes   Reactions: WWGD, BillTre, jtbell and 2 others