Collection of Lame Jokes

[DrGreg]

That's not the joke. @fresh_42 posted a link to Facebook which your browser is not displaying.

Yes, I knew that. My response was intended as a joke in itself. But I obviously failed.

 

[DrClaude]

Yes, I knew that. My response was intended as a joke in itself. But I obviously failed.

I wondered if that was the case.

 

[fresh_42]

I'm not really a fan of videos, it was more a test of PF5 than a joke, although it is funny, or sad.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Mark44]

Note on the office bulletin board.

To the person who stole my anti-depression medication: I hope you're happy now!​

 

[Ophiolite]

I admire medical people. Especially brain surgeons. You have to take your hat off to them.

 

[jack action]

Whoever has the Voodoo doll of me, can you please scratch my butt?

Thanks, I'm in a public place right now and cannot do it myself.

 

[jtbell]

I wonder whose idea of a lame joke it was to put this pillar right in, and blocking, one of the sidewalks leading up to our college’s admissions office.

 

[strangerep]

I wonder whose idea of a lame joke it was to put this pillar right in, and blocking, one of the sidewalks leading up to our college’s admissions office.

No, it's a clever device to stop moronic pests reaching the admissions office. I think I'll install one of those on my front pathway too.

[Edit:] Or maybe it's to give students some practice with the essential skill of repeatedly banging one's head against brick walls?

 

[fresh_42]

No, it's a clever device to stop moronic pests reaching the admissions office. I think I'll install one of those on my front pathway too.

I know this works in GB, not sure about the states, but everywhere else in Europe it would just ruin the lawn.

 

[mfb]

Great for wheelchair users...

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

Seven reaction options, and still none of them is "groan"...

 

[WWGD]

Do you know Michael Sage?
I think he's 35.

 

[WWGD]

@Bystander @fresh_42 I know. But that is not the 'this etymology' I was referring to, as you can readily see by comparing your own links to what @Klystron posted. I don't feel too comfortable with my Latin, since it's been a while since I took it (and only a semester), so I'd be happy to learn that there is a 'mate' verb that means 'kill, murder', or that the word 'deci' means 'tenth' (as opposed to e.g. 'decimus').

I will start being careful when someone calls me 'mate' from now on.

 

[WWGD]

These are the guys who also had trouble opening a plastic bag...

 

[WWGD]

I'm not really a fan of videos, it was more a test of PF5 than a joke, although it is funny, or sad.

I didn't get this one either.

 

[fresh_42]

I will start being careful when someone calls me 'mate' from now on.

Mate is really good, you should try it. I prefer the smoked variant.
(And yes, I do not like that English doesn't provide a distinction between geräuchert and geraucht. So no jokes please, it is not my fault that English has a gap here.)

 

[davenn]

Mate is really good, you should try it. I prefer the smoked variant.
(And yes, I do not like that English doesn't provide a distinction between geräuchert and geraucht. So no jokes please, it is not my fault that English has a gap here.)

well ... that belongs in the thread ... "Today I learned" ... I never knew

of course in Aussie and NZ at least, "mate" would always refer to friend

as in ...


a classic ol Aussie song

 

[fresh_42]

well ... that belongs in the thread ... "Today I learned" ... I never knew

of course in Aussie and NZ at least, "mate" would always refer to friend

I like the British version:

 

[WWGD]

I like the British version:

Not too sexy for their shirts?

 

[Steelwolf]

Why do you only come across lame puns? All the good ones run away!

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

I once thought about a career in the hotel industry,
but I had too many reservations.

 

[davenn]

one for my fellow Monty Python fans

this is brilliant!

 

[fresh_42]

"How did you celebrate your birthday?"
"No idea. I haven't seen the photos, yet."

 

[jtbell]

Have you heard? Six of the Seven Dwarfs have gone on strike because they're not Happy.

 

[davenn]

What a dreadful night. I dreamt something bit me on the neck.

I even got up to check, but the mirror's not working.

 

[Steelwolf]

Do you know why they never tortured Bilbo Baggins? A bad Hobbit is hard to break.

 

[DrClaude]

Seven reaction options, and still none of them is "groan"...

@Greg Bernhardt: we really, really need that reaction!

Have you heard? Six of the Seven Dwarfs have gone on strike because they're not Happy.

Do you know why they never tortured Bilbo Baggins? A bad Hobbit is hard to break.