Collection of Lame Jokes

[Vanadium 50]

"What's a buckeye? Some kind of nut?"

I've seen bumper stickers "I brake for animals. Except wolverines."

 

[256bits]

View attachment 280544

Yeah, I don't like her type of humour either.

 

[fresh_42]

They finally figured out the cause!

 

[fresh_42]

My life is depressing. Even my test was negative.

 

[phinds]

VACCINE ALERT

This happened yesterday and is important information for my age group.

A friend had his 2nd dose of the vaccine at the Vaccination Center, after which he began to have blurred vision on the way home.

When he got home, he called the Vaccination Center for advice and to ask if he should go see a doctor, or be hospitalized.

He was told NOT to go to a doctor or a hospital, but just return to the Vaccination Center immediately and pick up his glasses.

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

Boat Names:

 

[phinds]

Boat Names:
View attachment 280722

Gotta love this one

 

[fresh_42]

Maybe they should consider renaming of 'Evergreen'. I have read a hilarious suggestion, but the rules forbid me to repeat it here. But how about 'Unturnable'?

 

[Klystron]

Have you heard about the English major hindered by her huge big ginormous extensive vocabulary?

When she heard that her state outlawed semiautomatics she exclaimed:
"Yes! Long overdue legislation. My degree is Semantics. Never liked semiotics.".

Spoiler: Decency excludes this obligatory denouement

Would you like extra whipped cream on your Americano?

 

[256bits]

Have you heard about the English major hindered by her huge big ginormous extensive vocabulary?

When she heard that her state outlawed semiautomatics she exclaimed:
"Yes! Long overdue legislation. My degree is Semantics. Never liked semiotics.".

Spoiler: Decency excludes this obligatory denouement

Would you like extra whipped cream on your Americano?

I guess she thought the gun-control legislation had a worthwhile adjective.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[Interested user]

I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.

 

[Interested user]

Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in!

 

[Interested user]

Why do you tell actors to break a leg? Because there’s always a cast!

 

[jack action]

 

[Interested user]

Knock knock. Who’s there? I’m. I’m who? Idk you tell me!

 

[etotheipi]

Knock knock. Who’s there? I’m. I’m who? Idk you tell me!

 

[jtbell]

The king's chief advisor dashes into the throne room.

Advisor: "Sire, the peasants are revolting!"

King: (sighs) "You can say that again."

 

[Vanadium 50]

 

[jack action]

The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.

 

[fresh_42]

The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.

Only if he manages to find all screws that have to be adjusted.

 

[Interested user]

Only if he manages to find all screws that have to be adjusted.

Talk about a 7 ply country am I right?

 

[jtbell]

Outed!

 

[jtbell]

Here's where to send those revolting peasants:

 

[waternohitter]

moooo...moooo

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]