Collection of Lame Jokes

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I have decided to start a political party. It will be called the sensible Party (note the capitalisation). Any parties who don't immediately copy my platform will have to admit that they don't want to implement sensible policies.
 
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jimmy p said:
My dad was a pistol, that makes me a son of a gun...
Swear to god I didn't know this one xD!
 
gastonia.jpg


I've driven through Gastonia (just off I-85 west of Charlotte) many times, and I can testify that it looks nothing like this. :))

Someone took a video that he had made in Switzerland, labeled it as you see here, and posted it to TikTok. The result:

Fla. woman ventures to Gastonia, N.C., fooled by TikTok video making it look like Switzerland (WBTV, Charlotte)

“And then all of a sudden we get there, and it’s just rundown gas stations - like we had to go to the bathroom and there was no bathroom that worked in any of the gas stations,” Garcia said.

And the nearest mountains are an hour's drive away, to the northwest.
 
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Why are there pyramids in Egypt?

They're too heavy to be shipped to the British Museum
 
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Halc said:
Why are there are pyramids in Egypt?

They're too heavy to be shipped to the British Museum
I don't want to get too heavy on ' Lame', but it seems in many cases the Brits picked up artifacts that were being seriously neglected to the point they were being irreparably damaged so that they would be lost to history. That is part of the reason.
 
WWGD said:
That is part of the reason.
Also, we're superior to everyone else, so we deserve to have them. <Salutes picture of queen, sings Rule Brittania>
 
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Ibix said:
Also, we're superior to everyone else, so we deserve to have them. <Salutes picture of queen, sings Rule Brittania>
Id be more likely to agree before I became aware of blood sausages ;).
 
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned and said: "And you will dialogue."
 
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WWGD said:
I don't want to get too heavy on ' Lame', but it seems in many cases the Brits picked up artifacts that were being seriously neglected to the point they were being irreparably damaged so that they would be lost to history. That is part of the reason.
I think that's really just a poor excuse for plundering. I attended a lecture in Chicago, delivered by a British Museum curator, about the 'Elgin Marbles', i.e. the large bas-relief scuptures that the British had removed from the Parthenon and taken to England. I talked to him afterward, and said that I was aware of the preservation motivation, but wanted to know if any thought had been given to idea of restoring them to the Parthenon, perhaps subject to an agreement by which the Greek government would safeguard them against deterioration. After trotting out some paternalistic disingenuities about what's best for the Marbles, his final reply to me was a loud and contemptuous "It's booty; you don't give back booty". That seemed more honest to me.
 
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sysprog said:
I think that's really just a poor excuse for plundering. I attended a lecture in Chicago, delivered by a British Museum curator, about the 'Elgin Marbles', i.e. the large bas-relief scuptures that the British had removed from the Parthenon and taken to England. I talked to him afterward, and said that I was aware of the preservation motivation, but wanted to know if any thought had been given to idea of restoring them to the Parthenon, perhaps subject to an agreement by which the Greek government would safeguard them against deterioration. After trotting out some paternalistic disingenuities about what's best for the Marbles, his final reply to me was a loud and contemptuous "It's booty; you don't give back booty". That seemed more honest to me.
It may be the case for some objects, not for others. I certainly admit I don't know about the topic in enough depth to fully agree or disagree with you. For the sake of context, I'm not an apologist for colonization( by the West or otherwise).
 
I think there is genuine concern about how well the Elgin marbles would be cared for in Greece. To what extent that concern is well-founded, I don't know. But the tone of the debate the last time I remember it being openly discussed did suggest to me that jingoism was a strong motivation for us hanging on to them.
 
WWGD said:
It may be the case for some objects, not for others. I certainly admit I don't know about the topic in enough depth to fully agree or disagree with you.
When it's done by force under bitter protest, any purported good motives are ipso facto at best suspect, and the rightful owner isn't wrong to condemn the privation.
 
sysprog said:
When it's done by force under bitter protest, any purported good motives are ipso facto at best suspect, and the rightful owner isn't wrong to condemn the privation.
But several of the rightful owners did not raise the issue until recently.
 
To avoid derailing PF, I started a conversation with 'Sysprog' at https://www.physicsforums.com/conversations/artifacts-at-british-museums.225653/ , allowing anyone interested in joining in.
 
sysprog said:
.. his final reply to me was a loud and contemptuous "It's booty; you don't give back booty". That seemed more honest to me.
Damn right. We stole America from the native indians and we damn well aren't going to give it back. Who is worse, us or the looters of some marble ?
 
phinds said:
Damn right. We stole America from the native indians and we damn well aren't going to give it back. Who is worse, us or the looters of some marble ?
Just who today lives in the same place they lived 300 years ago? Displacing others is more the rule than the exception.
 
WWGD said:
But several of the rightful owners did not raise the issue until recently.
What you call a rightful owner was actually in most cases a predatory archaeologist.
 
Did you know some sports teams have squads of pom-pom people on the sidelines who specialize in chanting insults at the opposing team?

They're called jeerleaders.