Collection of Lame Jokes

[jtbell]

What do you call it when you Instagram a picture of something you're about to buy at the store?

A shelfie.

 

[Ophiolite]

When it comes to posting a lame joke I've been dragging my foot.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

I do not understand this Brexit dilemma. All the trouble, effort and sweat, just to gain 1 GB?

 

[256bits]

Good One.
God Save the Queen!

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

Why did the pianist sit down at his instrument wearing boxing gloves?

He had an old score to settle.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I do not understand this Brexit dilemma. All the trouble, effort and sweat, just to gain 1 GB?

Better 1 than 28 ! ...

 

[fresh_42]

Better 1 than 28 ! ...

Indeed! As if we hadn't already enough nationalism in Europe.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Indeed! As if we hadn't already enough nationalism in Europe.

Lol

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 237461​

Easy come, easy go! You didn't pay the ninth

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Easy come, easy go! You didn't pay the ninth

I see 30567883th missing too!

 

[nitsuj]

View attachment 237279

I like semantic misunderstanding jokes.

According to the recording on our public transport if you let the driver know seniors ride free on Wednesdays you ride for free. Actual wording is "seniors ride free on Wednesdays. Let the driver know and you ride for free."

Sounds like a bad deal for seniors who can only ride free on Wednesdays.

The burden of context for an analytical brain lol

 

[mfb]

Sounds like a bad deal for seniors who can only ride free on Wednesdays.

They can tell the driver about that rule every day, too.

 

[nitsuj]

They can tell the driver about that rule every day, too.

There's two rules

 

[mfb]

The first rule doesn't say anything about seniors on other weekdays. On Wednesday the seniors can board the bus/train using the first rule, on other days they tell the driver about the first rule and board it using the second rule.

Or do it like Luxembourg...

 

[nitsuj]

The first rule doesn't say anything about seniors on other weekdays. On Wednesday the seniors can board the bus/train using the first rule, on other days they tell the driver about the first rule and board it using the second rule.

Or do it like Luxembourg...

Alright, but i really feel you just being a less strict bus driver :D My interpretation is if seniors can ride free on Wednesdays, implicitly they cannot on the other days. If I were a bus operator I would feel bound to restrict those seniors being able to ride free only on wednesday. Which is what rule one says. Seniors ride free on wednesdays. So if a non senior mentions the rule they can ride free, with no restrictions.

So you're saying it comes down to seniors, who on Wednesday have the benefit of not having to mention the Wednesday rule. I see rule two makes it a requirement.

regarding Luxembourg. I think a few candidates for a recent municipal election (our public transit is municipal gov) used free public transport as a hook. It's not wildly off for the city in spirit, Ottawa Canada.

 

[mfb]

If we go by implications and how the rule is meant then you can never ride the bus free via "the second rule" because there is no such thing. A strictly literal interpretation is the only thing that makes more free rides possible. A strictly literal interpretation allows seniors to have free rides on every day.

 

[Ophiolite]

As a person of advanced years I am concerned about this apparent demand I travel somewhere every day and that has to be by bus! Couldn't I just stay at home trying to make up lame jokes?

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

Water beats electricity. Not new.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

The first rule doesn't say anything about seniors on other weekdays. On Wednesday the seniors can board the bus/train using the first rule, on other days they tell the driver about the first rule and board it using the second rule.

Or do it like Luxembourg...

... semantic misunderstanding jokes ...
... ...
Sounds like a bad deal for seniors who can only ride free on Wednesdays.

The burden of context for an analytical brain lol

There's also the "singular" case where the bus driver is a senior citizen! ... He always rides for free!

 

[jack action]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 237496​

Or "will you pseudo-marry me?"

 

[Borg]

Where have I seen that before?

https://xkcd.com/149/

 

[WWGD]

They found a collection of uninhabited islands and named it after a dumb guy: " No brains atoll"

 

[Ibix]

They found a collection of uninhabited islands and named it after a dumb guy: " No brains atoll"

Or Nobody Atoll? Or is that Notfunny Atoll?

 

[fresh_42]

Or Nobody Atoll? Or is that Notfunny Atoll?

How about: "The three items atoll"?

 

[WWGD]

It's actually an optical illusion: Godel's Not At All Atoll.

I think I tortured this one to death.

 

[fresh_42]

It's actually an optical illusion: Godel's Not At All Atoll.

I think I tortured this one to death.

Shouldn't you have said Escher is not all Atoll in this context?

 

[mfb]

The band Atoll bought it, now you have to pay a toll.

Atoll's Not At All Atoll toll.

 

[WWGD]

EDITNo way, tell the band Atoll, there is no toll at all in the atoll, neither tall nor small. And, while we're at it: Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo, Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo