Collection of Lame Jokes

[Steelwolf]

Can they Bench you for Planking on the field? And if they Do bench you, it is possible to end up sat on.

 

[*now*]

(Davenn's joke was very mature if not a little cheesy)

 

[fresh_42]

My dog has heard that some owners feed their dogs vegan. Since twenty minutes I fan him with a steak now.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Ibix]

Fright in a bright light from the right. It was quite a sight.

 

[Steelwolf]

View attachment 245723

Not sure, but it was never I-Ching the Yen

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

Stephen King has a son named Joe.
I'm not joking.

 

[Klystron]

Noted cartoonist proves past knowledge of future information:
https://www.gocomics.com/thefuscobrothers/1998/02/21

(Skirting bans on political humor...)

 

[WWGD]

Interesting network name: It only hurts when IP

 

[fresh_42]

Interesting network name: It only hurts when IP

I wonder whether I should name my router: FBI Surveillance Truck.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

When I was young, the Dead Sea was only sick.

 

[DrGreg]

When I was young, the Dead Sea was only sick.

Was that the Hepatitis Sea? (This one works better when spoken rather than written.)

 

[WWGD]

Was that the Hepatitis Sea? (This one works better when spoken rather than written.)

When I step outside of PF I am on to the web's Idio Sea.

 

[jack action]

 

[Steelwolf]

But, as the dog on the right can tell you, you lose a LOT when you go and digitalise an analogue system!

Especially at that much lower pixel rate, I mean, that is a ton of bits and bytes left out from the original via digitalization.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Swamp Thing]

A lame man limps into a bar.
"Heard the one about ...", he begins.
"Hold it right there", the barkeeper yells. "No lame jokes allowed in here".

 

[256bits]

Geez, that sets up these oldies,
Disclaimer: No animals or people have been hurt or maltreated through the production of these really lame jokes.

What do you call a person with no arms and no legs who falls into the ocean?

Spoiler

"Boy"

and this one,
A kid with no arms and no legs falls into the sea. What's his name?

Spoiler

"Bob"

And ,
How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?

Spoiler

"Wave at him"

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

In memory of MAD magazine, from their spoof of Star Trek (Star Blecch):

"Where are the bathrooms on this ship?" [the starship Boobyprize]
"There aren't any. You'll just have to go where no man has gone before."

 

[jtbell]

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

Just got back from a job interview where I was asked if I could perform under pressure.

"Yes, I have been diving often. What are we talking about, 4-5 bar?"

 

[davenn]

"Yes, I have been diving often. What are we talking about, 4-5 bar?"

Always wanted to try scuba diving ... never ever did get there

some good snorkelling on the Australian Great Barrier Reef is about the best ...
ohhh and some helmet diving in the Philippines

 

[davenn]

hahaha cracked me up

 

[davenn]

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? ….
Beer nuts are $2.49 Deer nuts are under a buck.

 

[Ibix]

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? ….
Beer nuts are $2.49 Deer nuts are under a buck.

So beer nuts are dear nuts and deer nuts are not dear nuts?