Collection of Lame Jokes

[Keith_McClary]

preparations for the siege

Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for July 09, 2021​

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Unfortunately, Simon Biles had to withdraw from the Okympics due to "the Twisties".

The same can be said for Sha’Carri Richardson

 

[BillTre]

 

[strangerep]

I start to think of myself as getting old but I refuse to go down that path. Age is a state of mind and I need my hot young gf to remember that!

Heh, heh, you're a living embodiment of the principle that "You're only as old as the woman you feel".

 

[jack action]

View attachment 287019

View attachment 287020

Are we going down that road again? This one showed on my social media recently:

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

Truckers, so often inspirational!

 

[Halc]

Help me! I am trapped
in a Haiku factory
Save me before they...

I got your message
I have found my way inside
Oh my god, what the ...

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

This is the sadness in this insight: the huge number of people, and not only in the US, who don't care at all about their fellow citizens. How difficult can it be to wear those masks, or to get a shot or two?

 

[phinds]

This is the sadness in this insight: the huge number of people, and not only in the US, who don't care at all about their fellow citizens. How difficult can it be to wear those masks, or to get a shot or two?

Why would they want to bother with that when it's all a government hoax? Or a conspiracy by Bill Gates? Or a media lie to sell news? Or ... <insert horse manure of your choice> ?

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 287049

That was also the reason given for the shortage of toilet paper: too many as**oles.

 

[wrobel]

An elder colleague told me a story. One Russian mathematician was invited to a conference in USA. It was the iron curtain times and the guy almost did not speak English and he learned his speech by rote. At the end he wanted to say "I want to wish you a successful life" but he said "I want to wish you a sex full life"

 

[Ivan Seeking]

An elder colleague told me a story. One Russian mathematician was invited to a conference in USA. It was the iron curtain times and the guy almost did not speak English and he learned his speech by rote. At the end he wanted to say "I want to wish you a successful life" but he said "I want to wish you a sex full life"

Well, you know what Putin says about Russian prostitutes.

 

[gmax137]

I should go around and ask other troops if they have a bacon stretcher. This was used to stretch the bacon so that one piece could be made into two

In my troop, the bacon stretcher was used to keep the bacon flat as it fried, so it didn't curl up with rare and well-done parts on the same piece.

We had other items for the tenderfeet to seek out: shoreline (to tie up the canoes), left-handed smoke shifters (to keep the campfire smoke out of our eyes), I'm sure there were more.

 

[BillTre]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[mfb]

There is nothing cooler than casually walking away after blowing something up

Just don't announce it or things get messy outside the bathroom, too.

 

[Ophiolite]

My boxing coach told me I would do a lot better if I did more feinting and less fainting.

 

[phinds]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Just don't announce it or things get messy outside the bathroom, too.

That is hilarious!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]