texasH53D
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The bartender says, "We don't serve tachyons here". A tachyon walks into a bar.
Collection of Lame Jokes
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adjacent
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jtbell said:
I got Piano . Yay
squalenepo
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Why do Sadhu's have more resistance?
Becoze they always chant "OM's".
Becoze they always chant "OM's".
adjacent
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Psinter
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Love triangles: The only triangles Pythagoras didn't have a solution for. (Or did he?)
drizzle
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-RudeComedian
Psinter
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Borek said:
Hahahaha! I so remember this from the other day. Various radio stations have been copying it. Glad you could find the original and share it.
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OmCheeto
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https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/t1.0-9/1002028_460069430782116_1016006956_n.jpg
Science Advisor
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Oh yuk. You just made me wonder what retired proctologists do... (?)Borek said:
drizzle
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http://cdn.themetapicture.com/media/funny-sign-closed-short-staff.jpg
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drizzle
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I kind of think it's so cute.
jmneutr0nn3
What did one fish say to the other? If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
2sin54
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What lights up a football stadium?
A football match.
A football match.
Nick O
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Adjoint
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http://www.gagful.com/uploads/2011_11/1320688553_Batman_is_too_busy_with_the_World_Cup_gag.jpg
Adjoint
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And what did the fish say when it hit the wall?jmneutr0nn3 said:
Dam!
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jmneutr0nn3
Adjoint said:
LoL. Here's another lame joke about anteaters:
Why don't anteaters get sick? Because they're full of anty-bodies.
johnqwertyful
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How many combinations of "u" Pokemon are there from a set of "i" Pokemon?
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jmneutr0nn3 said:
jmneutr0nn3
collinsmark said:
Finally, you thought that this joke was funny. Was it really?
Another one:
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
TheDemx27
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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a truck. Badum TSSS
dkotschessaa
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What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
Wataaaaaah!
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Today's Jokes
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare..
-------------------------------------
There is a real shortage of ammunition at the moment in the UK but this morning I lucked in and managed to find a local Gun Shops where I was able to buy several cases of ammo. On the way home I stopped at the petrol (gas) station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. She looked at the ammo in the back of my Land Rover and said in a very sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, Big Guy...Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?" So, I thought about it for a few seconds and then I asked, "What kinda ammo you got?"
cheers
Dave
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare..
-------------------------------------
There is a real shortage of ammunition at the moment in the UK but this morning I lucked in and managed to find a local Gun Shops where I was able to buy several cases of ammo. On the way home I stopped at the petrol (gas) station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. She looked at the ammo in the back of my Land Rover and said in a very sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, Big Guy...Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?" So, I thought about it for a few seconds and then I asked, "What kinda ammo you got?"
cheers
Dave
jmneutr0nn3
Wasn't that his favorite verbal expression before and during fight? I notice that in some of his films.dkotschessaa said:
jimmywhite
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Black and white on 16 wheels. What's this?
This zebra on roller skates.
This zebra on roller skates.