Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ibix]

Bohmian Rhpsody.

He's just a pilot wave, nobody loves him
(He's just a pilot wave, nobody loves him)
Spare him his life from the MWI!

 

[WWGD]

He's just a pilot wave, nobody loves him
(He's just a pilot wave, nobody loves him)
Spare him his life from the MWI!

An easy come, I grant you.

 

[Ibix]

Bell-zebub has an inequality set aside for me?

 

[fresh_42]

Bell-zebub has an inequality set aside for me?

Is there a video from Carl Satan?

 

[Ibix]

Is there a video from Carl Satan?

Nah - Freddie "Anomalous Precession" Mercury.

 

[WWGD]

Is there a video from Carl Satan?

It was collapsed by the ( tor) mentors upon viewing it.

 

[*now*]

So, you think you have variables that can hide?
So, you think you have a pilot wave that determinedly guides?

 

[davenn]

how many others are not embarrassed to also say yes to this...

 

[256bits]

Went to watch the Sea Animal show.
I watched the one with the dolphins my friend watched the otter one.

I am sure you both had a whale of a time.

 

[256bits]

how many others are not embarrassed to also say yes to this...

View attachment 252489

finally some perspective that I can relate to and pretend, instead of just being mesmerized and hypnotized by that snow coming at me windshield. Let the fantasy continue.

 

[BillTre]

how many others are not embarrassed to also say yes to this...

View attachment 252489

I had to drive about 120 miles once through a snowstorm and that is exactly what I related it to.
Very hypnotizing.

 

[jack action]

 

[jtbell]

A guy was driving with a case of dill pickles on the passenger seat next to him. As he went around a curve, the case slid over into him, causing him to lose control and crash into a tree.

The police investigator called it “a Vlasic case of gherkin the steering wheel.”

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

Gengis Khan and so can you , but Immanuel Kant.

 

[WWGD]

I had to drive about 120 miles once through a snowstorm and that is exactly what I related it to.
Very hypnotizing.

I understand this is why roads are made to wind and are not designed to be straight, to avoid the hypnotic effect by forcing the driver to do a bit of extra steering. Though this is not likely to not be an issue when there are snowstorms.

 

[davenn]

Of all the different blood groups,
Type O’s make the most spelling mistakes.

 

[Ibix]

Of all the different blood groups,
Type O’s make the most spelling mistakes.

And Type A people mostly come from Taiwan.

 

[mfb]

I understand this is why roads are made to wind and are not designed to be straight, to avoid the hypnotic effect by forcing the driver to do a bit of extra steering. Though this is not likely to not be an issue when there are snowstorms.

That depends on the country. If the topology allows some countries have very long straight roads.

 

[WWGD]

That depends on the country. If the topology allows some countries have very long straight roads.

EDIT:
But I thought straight roads caused the unwanted hypnotic effect so they are to be avoided when possible.
But not the UK:
But not the UK:

?

 

[Ibix]

But not the UK

We romanticise our roads as "the rolling English country road". My Dad always added "...laid by the rolling English country drunkard".

 

[fresh_42]

We romanticise our roads as "the rolling English country road". My Dad always added "...laid by the rolling English country drunkard".

... and in case a road gets close to one mile straight, you insert a roundabout.

 

[Ibix]

... and in case a road gets close to one mile straight, you insert a roundabout.

I have once seen a roundabout with one entrance and one exit. And then there's the Magic Roundabout.

 

[fresh_42]

The UK relates to roundabouts as Switzerland relates to tunnels!

 

[Ibix]

The UK relates to roundabouts as Switzerland relates to tunnels!

But does Switzerland have a tunnel that's five tunnels twisting around each other? If not, it's not the same...

 

[fresh_42]

But does Switzerland have a tunnel that's five tunnels twisting around each other? If not, it's not the same...

They do! And they have the coolest tunnel of all! (pun came in naturally)

 

[Ibix]

But therefore, they have the coolest tunnel of all! (pun came in naturally)

Ah, but they have to share that one with France. And it's kind of a roundabout for particles anyway...

 

[fresh_42]

Ah, but they have to share that one with France.

Smart, isn't it? Do the French even know?

 

[mfb]

Good that protons don't have to pay customs. 44,000 border crossings per second for each proton.

Oh, and speaking about complex tunnel systems...

 

[Ibix]

Good they protons don't have to pay customs.

Oddly, since there's a charge.

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[256bits]

They do! And they have the coolest tunnel of all! (pun came in naturally)
View attachment 252615

Put in a roadway, and test the prototype to cut transit time by 99.999999%

 

[jack action]

A small ATM room having 2 ACs and 4 tube lights, working 24/7, is asking me not to print a receipt to save the environment.

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

Dog #1: I’m worried about my human. I think he might have some kind of memory problem.

Dog #2: Why do you say that?

Dog #1: Every time we meet, he asks the same question over and over: “Who’s a good boy?”“Who’s a good boy?”“Who’s a good boy?”

 

[DrGreg]

Dog #1: I’m worried about my human. I think he might have some kind of memory problem.

Dog #2: Why do you say that?

Dog #1: Every time we meet, he asks the same question over and over: “Who’s a good boy?”“Who’s a good boy?”“Who’s a good boy?”

Dog #1: And he keeps throwing his possessions away, which I then have to fetch for him.

 

[WWGD]

Dog #1: And he keeps throwing his possessions away, which i then have to fetch for him.

I play fetch with my dog using a boomerang. Wonder what he thinks to himself.

 

[mfb]

I could tell a joke about a broken internet connection, but you wouldn't get it.

 

[256bits]

One burnt blown out wall socket to another, "It Hertz!"

 

[jack action]

The weather in Canada this week is so cold, that accuweather.com have to say -0°C:

​

 

[DrClaude]

The weather in Canada this week is so cold, that accuweather.com have to say -0°C:

It's because it is approaching 0 from below

I would however quibble with you that 0 °C is cold for November in Canada...

 

[fresh_42]

It's because it is approaching 0 from below

... and I read it as turning into lower than zero ...
Not that it is a contradiction, but $x$ is more likely than $x^2$.

 

[Borg]

I thought that I was wrong once but I was mistaken.

 

[Ibix]

I used to be vain, but I got rid of the problem and now I'm perfect.

 

[WWGD]

I used to be vain, but I got rid of the problem and now I'm perfect.

Carly Simon has this song with the line: "You're so vain, I bet you thought this song's about you".

 

[Keith_McClary]

People tell me I'm getting forgetful, but I was always like that, as I recall.

 

[WWGD]

People tell me I'm getting forgetful, but I was always like that, as I recall.

I'll never forget what's her name.