Collection of Lame Jokes

[DaveC426913]

After about 4 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.“Does she still have the hiccups?”

Hah! I actually did this!

Early in our marriage, my wife got the hiccups at a Turkey Day dinner with my family.

I stood up without warning and told the whole family my lovely new wife and I have some wonderful news I want to share with the family..."

It worked.

 

[phinds]

A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[davenn]

Every time I take up a sport, or exercise I meet new people ...
usually they're paramedics...
but they're new people.

 

[WWGD]

Hah! I actually did this!

Early in our marriage, my wife got the hiccups at a Turkey Day dinner with my family.

I stood up without warning and told the whole family my lovely new wife and I have some wonderful news I want to share with the family..."

It worked.

Mine was a bit different. This guy told me he was constipated. A bit later, I tell him " I think I saw someone stealing your car". He said " I don't have a car". I just replied " Then you better hurry!".

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[kuruman]

 

[BillTre]

Animal themed furniture:

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[gmax137]

I want to die in my sleep, like Grandpa.

Not screaming, like everyone else in his car...

 

[DaveC426913]

I want to die in my sleep, like Grandpa.

Not screaming, like everyone else in his car...

Never gets old.

 

[Bystander]

Oh yes, it does.

 

[gmax137]

Oh yes, it does.

Sorry...

 

[fresh_42]

I want to die in my sleep, like Grandpa.

Not screaming, like everyone else in his car...

"Clear!" was the last word of the passenger.

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[ergospherical]

 

[ergospherical]

 

[ergospherical]

 

[WWGD]

Meetings should last as long as it takes to drink a cup of coffee:

 

[WWGD]