Collection of Lame Jokes

[DaveC426913]

Probably even quaint in some environments today. But hey, I'm not that hip.

My wife teaches family planning. She has had to learn to be ultra-hip with today's world. And me by osmosis.

 

[WWGD]

My wife teaches family planning. She has had to learn to be ultra-hip with today's world. And me by osmosis.

Hip, hip hooray!

 

[Ibix]

My wife teaches family planning.

And identifying as a man/woman will definitely override your biology when it comes to sex, and it's your wife's fault if she doesn't tapdance around that sufficiently carefully, right?

 

[WWGD]

And identifying as a man/woman will definitely override your biology when it comes to sex, and it's your wife's fault if she doesn't tapdance around that sufficiently carefully, right?

Dancing around 147 genders with associated nouns will get you a hip fracture. Though to me fractures are not really that hip.

 

[WWGD]

And identifying as a man/woman will definitely override your biology when it comes to sex, and it's your wife's fault if she doesn't tapdance around that sufficiently carefully, right?

I remember someone implying 1,4,9, 16, 25,...etc are hip *

*It's hip to be square.

 

[DaveC426913]

And identifying as a man/woman will definitely override your biology when it comes to sex, and it's your wife's fault if she doesn't tapdance around that sufficiently carefully, right?

Physiological sex, gender identity and orientation are all different things.
And there's no need to copulate to have a baby these days.
In fact, there's no need to even gestate to have a baby these days.
Heck, it's not even necessary to be female to gestate a baby.

 

[WWGD]

Physiological sex, gender identity and orientation are all different things.
And there's no need to copulate to have a baby these days.
In fact, there's no need to even gestate to have a baby these days.
Heck, it's not even necessary to be female to gestate a baby.

I'll settle for my baby back ribs.

 

[Ibix]

Physiological sex, gender identity and orientation are all different things.

I know that, but I'm not convinced everyone does, from posts I've read elsewhere...

 

[DaveC426913]

I know that,

Ah. I thought maybe post 10,436 was sarcastic/facetious.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Omega0]

A particle met a wave. Particle: Plop. Wave: Slosh!

 

[Halc]

Ah. I thought maybe post 10,436 was sarcastic/facetious.

Now 10443, that one was fecesious

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Physiological sex, gender identity and orientation are all different things.
And there's no need to copulate to have a baby these days.
In fact, there's no need to even gestate to have a baby these days.
Heck, it's not even necessary to be female to gestate a baby.

Pretty soon you will not only be able to have sex with your robot, he or she will be able to get pregnant.

I wonder how robots will identify...

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[strangerep]

I wonder how robots will identify...

Sans all forms of body odour?

 

[Keith_McClary]

https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.car...-opioids_epidemic-drugs-youth-pwin326_low.jpg

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 288515

This has been a very dark secret in law enforcement for decades. Koalas commit most violent crimes.

 

[DrClaude]

On the subject of koalas: while doing my Ph.D. I shared an office with another student who was into some woo stuff. One day, she spilled a bottle of essential oil of eucalyptus on her desk. We had to leave the window open to air the office and I was afraid koalas would be attracted and take over the office

(This was in Europe, I was just being silly...)

 

[DaveC426913]

https://s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.car...-opioids_epidemic-drugs-youth-pwin326_low.jpg

Paste the image itself, rather than the URL...

 

[George Jones]

Hard rock farm joke:

 

[Bystander]

Hard rock farm joke:

"Purple 'Hays'?" Not making sense to me.

 

[gmax137]

"Purple 'Hays'?" Not making sense to me.

 

[Borg]

"Purple 'Hays'?" Not making sense to me.

My first thought was dental floss.

 

[fresh_42]

My first thought was dental floss.

Mine was "Purple Rain" makes purple hay. Probably a generation thing, or due to the fact that I'm not really a Jimmy Hendrix fan.

 

[256bits]

What is that thing under the left rear fender, behind the tire?

View attachment 288486

looks like he took out R2D2 . completely cut in half and now you see his inards.

 

[George Jones]

"Purple 'Hays'?" Not making sense to me.

Yes, one has to "bend" the English, but this is part of the fun of the joke.

 

[WWGD]

Now 10443, that one was fecesious

And now we're numbering jokes here too. Cc @fresh_42

 

[WWGD]

Hard rock farm joke:
View attachment 288523

My friend naively translated ' Hard Rock' into French as ' Rock Fort' ( Rocquefort) , modulo incorrect spelling.

 

[fresh_42]

My friend naively translated ' Hard Rock' into French as ' Rock Fort' ( Rocquefort) , modulo incorrect spelling.

Do they serve Roquefort in Hard Rock Cafes?

 

[DaveC426913]

...with a roll?

 

[256bits]

you might think you know the lyrics to these familiar Rock songs.
who knew they were all about cheese.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Keith_McClary]

Koalas commit most violent crimes.

You're thinking of "drop bears".