Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[Ricardito Everlastin]

"Lincoln Lincoln I've been thinkin'
What the hell have you been drinkin'?
Is it whisky? Is it Wine?
Oh my god it's turpentine!"

A variation I've heard:

"Lincoln Lincoln I've been thinking:
If the world were made of glass;
Everybody in creation'd
fall and slide upon their Lincoln Lincoln... (repeat)"

Variation:
Rastus, Tastus, I been thinking...
If the world were made of glass;
Everybody in creation
Would go flyin' on their Rastus, Tastus (etc.)

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

What sound does an airplane door make when it bounces off the ground?

Boeing!

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[jtbell]

Worst. Coffee. Ever.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

linguistic differences between North and South are many. Here are two of them.

Some people in the South don't say "thank you", they say "preesheateit"

Some people in the North don't say "did you eat yet?", they say "jeetchet?"

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[berkeman]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 339453

This is ”lame jokes” not ”innovative technical solutions”

 

[fresh_42]

Is art ok? 15-year work in progress. Artist in background.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[DennisN]

Poor elephant...

 

[fresh_42]

I thought it was photoshopped, but it was photoshopped by nature!
https://www.amazon.de/entzückende-A...Dekoration-Gärtnergeschenk/dp/B096P6QD9V?th=1

 

[fresh_42]

Whatever it is ... Just Don't!

 

[DennisN]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 339497

Reminds me of this one:

”What you explain in class”
Vs
”What they put in the exam”

 

[Borg]

I love the little snippets at the end of the Big Bang episodes.

 

[jack action]

A man came home from fishing today.
His wife left a note on the fridge: "It's not working, I can't take it anymore!! Gone to stay with my Mother!!!"

He opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold......... He asked himself:
"What the hell is she talking about??"

 

[berkeman]

 

[DennisN]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 339524

This requires context:

First of all, yes, it is a real pizza and no photoshop is involved. Second, there is a story attached. In 2020, a Swedish guy called Stellan Johansson got 10 kg of kiwis as a gift from his brother and the brother’s wife - who grew them themselves. Not knowing what to do with that amount of fruit, Stellan started trying kiwi in all sorts of cooking. Finally he brought kiwi to the local pizzeria and asked them to make a pizza Hawaii, but use his kiwi instead of pineapple. He had to ask three times before the staff understood what he wanted.

He took a photo and posted it on Facebook. It went viral.

Here is a contemporary summary from a Swedish news outlet (in Swedish): https://www.expressen.se/kvallsposten/stellans-pizza-blev-en-snackis-i-hela-varlden/

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Ibix]

Whatever it is ... Just Don't!View attachment 339494

I think that's how they tell you "don't do nuthin'".

 

[sbrothy]

View attachment 336924

Does the vanity plate say "STEM"? That would kinda top it off. :)

 

[fresh_42]

If you can see this, then a wave function collapsed.

 

[Ibix]

I love the little snippets at the end of the Big Bang episodes.

View attachment 339500

Sounds like a story of Nasreddin. The one listed on that page about the donkey is my favourite.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[WWGD]

Age is an issue of mind over matter: If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.