Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

The comedian on stage struggles for savoir fare. The guy who forgot his money struggles for Subway fare.

 

[jtbell]

"What do you get when you cross Frankenstein with the Invisible Man?"

"I don't know, but it can't be much to look at."

 

[Orodruin]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[DrGreg]

For sale: Second hand vacuum. No pressure.*

I'm getting rid of it because all it does is gather dust.

*That works for barometers, too.

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 352216

The only way Microsoft could come up with something that doesn't suck is if they manufactured vaccuum cleaners.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jtbell]

"I enjoy watching shows at the comedy club, but I don't like to eat dinner there."

"Why not?"

"The food tastes funny."

 

[nuuskur]

I have no idea why a dinosaur is used to represent a mathematician in this diagram. Are we becoming dinosaurs? *nervous laughter*

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 352202

I’d also like to point out that a similar relationship exists between storks and births …

 

[pinball1970]

 

[dwarde]

 

[WWGD]

Bible instructor Rob Knott has changed his name for Thyshanat Steele.

 

[berkeman]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[DaveC426913]

Luke: "Why is the order of the Star Wars films 4, 5 ,6, 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9?"
Yoda: "In charge of release schedule was I."

 

[berkeman]

 

[kuruman]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 352369

No discus(sion) about it.

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 352369

This is a g*dam classic.

 

[nuuskur]

 

[pinball1970]

 

[WWGD]

When Chuck caught Covid, Covid was put on quarantine.

 

[Orodruin]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

 

[WWGD]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

He can counter Godel's Theorem with hust a thumbs up.

 

[kuruman]

Chuck Norris can square the circle . . . or is it circle the square?

 

[Orodruin]

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

 

[nuuskur]

Chuck Norris has no need for debugging, he stares at the screen until the code confesses.

 

[jtbell]

Chuck Norris once climbed to the top of a Dirac delta function.

And sat down on it.

 

[Orodruin]

Chuck Norris can differentiate the Weierstrass function.

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 352340

I was fired more sensitively:
Them: " Knock knock"
Me: " Who's there"
Them: " Not you, anymore"

 

[gmax137]

Chuck Norris can recite all the digits of pi... backwards

 

[WWGD]

He can stop after eating just one potato chip.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[berkeman]

 

[Arjan82]

So, how many push-ups did Chuck Norris do?


All of them...

 

[jtbell]

Why does the baseball player Jacob Sturm prefer Louisville Slugger bats?

Because of the Sturm-Louisville theorem.

 

[WWGD]

Phew! Seems Chuck won't be bringing us and forcing our heads against his knuckles. ( Specially after strangling someone with a cordless phone!)

https://www.handitv.com/stories/chuck-norris-was-initially-confused-by-all-those-chuck-norris-jokes

 

[Borg]

Chuck Norris fought himself and both won.

 

[WWGD]

Hopefully just a coincidence:

 

[DaveC426913]

Phew! Seems Chuck won't be bringing us and forcing our heads against his knuckles. ( Specially after strangling someone with a cordless phone!)

https://www.handitv.com/stories/chuck-norris-was-initially-confused-by-all-those-chuck-norris-jokes

Is anyone old enough to remember a time when it wasn't Chuck Norris - it was Paul Bunyan?

 

[WWGD]

Is anyone old enough to remember a time when it wasn't Chuck Norris - it was Paul Bunyan?

May be a regional thing.
I remember SNL's skit on Bill Brasky.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[dwarde]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[WWGD]

Annette works in IT she's pregnant. Should she name her son/daughter 000Subnette?

 

[dwarde]