Collection of Lame Jokes

davenn · Dec 15, 2020

Fervent Freyja said:

View attachment 274352

that deathbed revelation

mfb · Dec 15, 2020

Watch: Why Did These Salmon Cross the Road?

The car should have stopped. Fins are higher in school zones.

Ivan Seeking · Dec 15, 2020

mfb said:

Watch: Why Did These Salmon Cross the Road?

The car should have stopped. Fins are higher in school zones.

View attachment 274376

CAUTION
Slow Fish

Hitchswimming
Not Allowed

WWGD · Dec 16, 2020

WWGD · Dec 16, 2020

Return to classes has been successful...for the most part

WWGD · Dec 16, 2020

Maybe you should have breakfast before leaving your house...

Ivan Seeking · Dec 16, 2020

WWGD said:

Maybe you should have breakfast before leaving your house...
View attachment 274448

He should have held out for at least 20 Big Macs.

WWGD · Dec 16, 2020

Ivan Seeking said:

He should have held out for at least 20 Big Macs.

Or at least shaved! ;).

fresh_42 · Dec 16, 2020

They once had been 15 years ahead of their times ...

... although close to their breakthrough ...

... all looked like a step backwards.

phinds · Dec 16, 2020

Ivan Seeking · Dec 16, 2020

WWGD said:

Return to classes has been successful...for the most partView attachment 274446

From the Head Start program...

Ivan Seeking · Dec 16, 2020

fresh_42 said:

The Pointer Sisters...

The other pointer sisters

strangerep · Dec 16, 2020

Ivan Seeking said:

The other pointer sisters [...]

Are they from Toledo Ohio?

Ivan Seeking · Dec 16, 2020

strangerep said:

Are they from Toledo Ohio?

Ask Klinger...?

wrobel · Dec 17, 2020

TEXT: your excrement is our joy

(some Slavic language I don't know exactly which one)

Ivan Seeking · Dec 17, 2020

wrobel said:

View attachment 274541

TEXT: your excrement is our joy

(some Slavic language I don't know exactly which one)

Same motto

WWGD · Dec 17, 2020

I felt someone was looking at me during my last trip:

WWGD · Dec 17, 2020

mfb · Dec 17, 2020

WWGD said:

I felt someone was looking at me during my last trip:

Is this a real picture? The Sun would have to be close to the horizon but the shadows suggest a much steeper angle. It also doesn't look like it was taken from the extreme distance you need to make the Moon that large in the image (well above 1 km).

collinsmark · Dec 18, 2020

mfb said:

Is this a real picture? The Sun would have to be close to the horizon but the shadows suggest a much steeper angle. It also doesn't look like it was taken from the extreme distance you need to make the Moon that large in the image (well above 1 km).

I was asking myself the same thing. That photo doesn't have any obvious tell-tail signs of perspective inconsistencies like so many other moon photos you see photoshoped, on the Internet. Yes, the sun would have to be close to the horizon, but that's not so unusual with a gibbous moon. So I was staring at that photo for about 5 minutes, searching for some sort of flaw, but I couldn't find one. It turns out it's real.
https://www.newsbreak.com/arizona/phoenix/news/2115020073501/full-moon-photo-looks-like-mysterious-giant-eye-through-rock-arch-in-utah

WWGD · Dec 18, 2020

mfb said:

Is this a real picture? The Sun would have to be close to the horizon but the shadows suggest a much steeper angle. It also doesn't look like it was taken from the extreme distance you need to make the Moon that large in the image (well above 1 km).

No clue. I suspend critical thinking for lame jokes-related matter. I do enough of it the remainder of the day.

Keith_McClary · Dec 18, 2020

collinsmark said:

It turns out it's real.

I wonder if he has plans for Jupiter and Saturn on Monday!

jtbell · Dec 18, 2020

mfb said:

Watch: Why Did These Salmon Cross the Road?

Because they were being chased by hungry chickens?

WWGD · Dec 18, 2020

WWGD · Dec 18, 2020

mfb · Dec 18, 2020

collinsmark said:

It turns out it's real.
https://www.newsbreak.com/arizona/phoenix/news/2115020073501/full-moon-photo-looks-like-mysterious-giant-eye-through-rock-arch-in-utah

That's a different picture. The Moon is smaller there, too.

My analysis was right. It's a double exposure. Moon and arch were pictured separately and combined.

jack action · Dec 18, 2020

Halc · Dec 18, 2020

mfb said:

That's a different picture. The Moon is smaller there, too.

My analysis was right. It's a double exposure. Moon and arch were pictured separately and combined.

Both shots (at least of the arch) were taken within a short time of each other. They have the same people in it, but all rearranged. The one in the linked article was taken first (assuming near dusk) with the sun still high enough to throw hard shadows from the shrubbery, and from about 60% closer by the arch than the subsequent shot posted in the forum where the only good shadows are in the rocks, especially above the eye.

The guy must have really needed to haul butt to get from one shot to the next, moving away, to the side, and downward. If straight back, moving downward would have put the hill that he took the first from between himself and the target. I assume these are not drone shots which would be another solution to getting to just the right place multiple times. He might have had his family help take the shots from multiple vantage points.

I'm willing to be convinced both shots are legit. The article makes no mention of the guy dashing to a second location or having a 2nd camera. He said he did about 250 shots, only a few during the 20 seconds the moon was properly aligned. No mention of moving and setting up to take the 2nd shot. So I'm willing to be talked out of my assessment.

jtbell · Dec 18, 2020

Why should you never pick a fight with Santa Claus?

Because he has a black belt.

WWGD · Dec 19, 2020

WWGD · Dec 19, 2020

WWGD · Dec 19, 2020

An angry guard on the entrance to the bathroom:

jack action · Dec 19, 2020

nsaspook · Dec 19, 2020

Fervent Freyja · Dec 19, 2020

Fervent Freyja · Dec 19, 2020

Fervent Freyja · Dec 19, 2020

Oh, snap!

Fervent Freyja · Dec 20, 2020

Ivan Seeking · Dec 20, 2020

Fervent Freyja said:

View attachment 274700

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?

"Hey... you going to eat that?"

mfb · Dec 20, 2020

Halc said:

I'm willing to be convinced both shots are legit.

The photographer said it's a double exposure in the link I posted. If that's not sufficient to convince you it's a double exposure, then I don't know what will.