Collection of Lame Jokes

[berkeman]

One way to determine whether you're sufficiently hydrated (i.e. drinking enough water) is to monitor how often you pee.

It can be a nuisance to keep track of this, but urine luck! There's an app for that!

https://www.the-sun.com/tech/4754169/who-developed-pee-and-see-app/

But does it have an alarm feature for detecting hyponatremia?

 

[Charles Kuester]

He is a comedian and when at his best he was hilarious! The smashing business was just the finale to his show.

My favorite of his: "I went to see a Doctor to see if he could do anything about my baldness. He said the problem was in my genes. I told him he was crazy I got plenty of hair there. Where I need it is on my head!"

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

import time, datetime

def get_tomorrows_date():
    time.sleep(60*60*24)
    return datetime.date.today()

print(get_tomorrows_date())

 

[DrGreg]

import time, datetime

def get_tomorrows_date():
    time.sleep(60*60*24)
    return datetime.date.today()

print(get_tomorrows_date())

That gets the right answer to the original question, but a day too late.

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

?

 

[berkeman]

?

It's a dumb joke, just let it go by...

 

[phinds]

It's a dumb joke, just let it go by...

I don't mind dumb jokes, I just don't like ones that don't seem to actually BE jokes (presumably because I don't get it)

 

[berkeman]

I don't mind dumb jokes, I just don't like ones that don't seem to actually BE jokes (presumably because I don't get it)

Deliver a baby -- standard.

De-liver a baby -- gross.

Have a nice day

 

[strangerep]

"I went to see a Doctor to see if he could do anything about my baldness. He said the problem was in my genes. I told him he was crazy I got plenty of hair there. Where I need it is on my head!"

Oh, and did you hear about the magician who couldn't pull a rabbit out of his hat? So he pulled a hair out of his bum instead.

 

[Ibix]

import time, datetime

def get_tomorrows_date():
    time.sleep(60*60*24)
    return datetime.date.today()

print(get_tomorrows_date())

You could improve efficiency by calculating the remaining time until midnight and only sleeping that long.

 

[fresh_42]

It's a dumb joke, just let it go by...

And it is a repetition.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Keith_McClary]

Tycoons bound for ISS aren't tourists, insists space company​

If they were tourists, they could not deduct it as a business expense, like all the other space tourists do.

 

[WWGD]

And it is a repetition.

See #12030 https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-lame-jokes.25301/page-401
and #12056.

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

 

[phinds]

This pretty well captures my phone bill

 

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DaveC426913]

I didn't know what to make of this..

Pfft. Even I know this one. It's sports!

 

[phinds]

 

[DrClaude]

View attachment 297868​

Poor guy, he wasn't very fortunate.

 

[fresh_42]

"Mama, I want a bunny!"
"I have already planned something else for lunch."

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]