Collection of Lame Jokes

[Swamp Thing]

The title on the German poster reminded me of Mark Twain's "The Awful German Language".

 

[Swamp Thing]

Decolonization (/diːˌkɑː.lə.nəˈzeɪ.ʃən/) : A type of radical surgical procedure.

 

[Swamp Thing]

Viral meme channel : Social media influenza

 

[Orodruin]

Decolonization (/diːˌkɑː.lə.nəˈzeɪ.ʃən/) : A type of radical surgical procedure.

Technically colonectomy

Viral meme channel : Social media influenza

Are we sure it is not bacterial?

 

[Swamp Thing]

Are we sure it is not bacterial?

If it had been, we would have called it a bacterial meme.

 

[Orodruin]

If it had been, we would have called it a bacterial meme.

Would require some antimemeotics

 

[Tom.G]

Viral meme channel : Social media influenza

Are we sure it is not bacterial?

Yea, bacteria are easier to kill off.

 

[jtbell]

The second one is in German (my translation below):

As I'm sure you know, Swedish and Finnish also have agglutinative tendencies. I used to have a railroad timetable book which had a section labeled Valtionrautateiden henkilöliikenne / Persontrafik på statsjärnvägarna.

 

[Ibix]

As I'm sure you know, Swedish and Finnish also have agglutinative tendencies. I used to have a railroad timetable book which had a section labeled Valtionrautateiden henkilöliikenne / Persontrafik på statsjärnvägarna.

Why use two words when you can glue them together so one will do?

 

[Filip Larsen]

Swedish and Finnish also have agglutinative tendencies.

As I understand it, the Danish word "Speciallægepraksisplanlægningsstabiliseringsperiode" with a a length of 51 got an official entry in Guinness Book of Records in 1993 (I haven't checked though).

 

[Orodruin]

May I introduce you all to the proper chemical name of titin?

 

[berkeman]

 

[DaveC426913]

Why use two words when you can glue them together so one will do?

Is that what the issue is, or is it just that space characters are extremely expensive?

 

[BillTre]

Is that what the issue is, or is it just that space characters are extremely expensive?

When the scientific community started using zebrafish (rather than zebra fish) for the research animal, one of the arguments was made that "zebrafish" was a better choice because it saved on a space character.

 

[Baluncore]

Is that what the issue is, or is it just that space characters are extremely expensive?

I have noticed a tendency now for people who communicate in text, to talk like a machine gun or teletype, without spaces between words. At some point, they will need to breathe.

I think crosswords will be our saving grace. They require words be in the dictionary, and be of sensible length.

 

[jtbell]

 

[davenn]

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 342632

Now, if only more humans would reach the same level of enlightenment.

 

[BillTre]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[BillTre]

 

[Swamp Thing]

View attachment 342685

"Don't sh*t until you can see the whites of his eyes!"

 

[Borg]

Fire at Will!

 

[Swamp Thing]

Elon Musk, starting his first board meeting after acquiring Twitter:
"Ok guys, first things first... I'm going to rename the platform. It's going to be called 'X, Formerly Twitter' ".

 

[dextercioby]

 

[berkeman]

 

[jack action]

 

[Bystander]

View attachment 342716​

..., again....

 

[collinsmark]

View attachment 342716​

Here's a true story, rather than a lame joke, although it could be both.

I know this Welshman that regularly wore around his favorite T-Shirt that said, "Whale Oil Beef Hooked."

(A couple of my favorite jokes came from him.)

 

[DaveC426913]

Here's a true story, rather than a lame joke, although it could be both.

I know this Welshman that regularly wore around his favorite T-Shirt that said, "Whale Oil Beef Hooked."

(A couple of my favorite jokes came from him.)

I first heard this phrase coming out of my (straightlaced, prudish) father's mouth at family dinner while my (even more straightlaced, prudish) mother's eyes shot poisoned-dagger looks at him. Traumatized us all.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[davenn]

View attachment 342675

Well that escalated quickly LOL

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

I first heard this phrase coming out of my (straightlaced, prudish) father's mouth at family dinner while my (even more straightlaced, prudish) mother's eyes shot poisoned-dagger looks at him. Traumatized us all.

That's where the "if looks could kill...." came from hahahaha

 

[BillTre]

That's where the "if looks could kill...." came from hahahaha

That made me look up this:

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 342732

Lucky bastard!

 

[berkeman]

 

[BillTre]

 

[DennisN]

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

Dog bless you.

 

[WWGD]

 

[berkeman]

 

[jtbell]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Borg]

Or are they?

 

[Baluncore]

Or are they?

Yes, but they hide if you look.