Doubt, Discouragement, and Perseverance in STEM Careers

Doubt, as odd as this may sound, can be essential to living. We all make decisions and later question whether we made the right choice; doubt helps influence our next decision when a similar choice arises.

While doubt is a natural part of the human conflict in all of us, discouragement is different. Intentional discouragement can be uncalled for. I get upset when I hear someone tell another person, “Oh, you’ll never be able to do that.” Such pessimistic statements destroy a person’s confidence and self-esteem.

Doubt, discouragement, and persistence

College decisions

When I was in high school I had no idea what to study in college. I considered engineering because I grew up with the mentality that “all Asian males should become engineers or doctors.” I had a strong interest in the social sciences, but I geared myself toward the math and science that I knew I would be pushed toward. After I graduated I registered as a Physics major, which had its advantages: I could grow my hair long and people wouldn’t question it.

Preparing for calculus

At registration I signed up for Introductory Calculus with some doubt about whether I was adequately prepared. If I wasn’t prepared, I resolved to prepare before classes began. I immediately went home, gathered a few calculus textbooks, and worked through basic concepts.

Classroom challenges

I met a fellow student in my Calculus class who was rude and argumentative; anything I said he would immediately dispute. Many times I wanted to punch him. To preserve my peace I sat as far away as possible. I did so-so on the first two tests but was determined to do well on the third. The problem was I also had a U.S. History exam and an English exam the same day, so I had to manage my time carefully.

Test day

Test day came. I walked into the classroom with bloodshot eyes, unshaven and stressed. For some odd reason, I couldn’t remember how to do this or that. After about two hours I left the classroom frustrated and called my father to tell him about the test. I remember sitting at the edge of the sidewalk next to the student center with the phone to my ear, my hand on my head and my eyes closed, contemplating tomorrow. I questioned whether I had what it takes to pursue Physics and whether I could make it. I ended up dropping Calculus that semester, but I still attended every class (the professor kindly allowed me to attend).

Facing discouragement

Upon hearing my struggle, my classmate walked up and said, “Hey Philip, you say you want a Ph.D. in Physics, right? Well, you know Georgia Tech has a really tough Physics program and you have problems with Calculus. You can’t do it.” That did it for me. I looked up and said, “And who says I can’t? There were many before me and many who will follow. I struggle for a while but I’m not alone. You are no one to tell me what I can and cannot do.”

Outcome and advice

It turns out my classmate ended up with a mid-C in the class. When I took Calculus the next semester, I earned a high B, which I’m proud of. The lesson here is that you should not let others tell you what you can and cannot do. Don’t allow people like my classmate to discourage you from achieving your goals.

Anything you wish to do, I say go for it. I wish you the best of luck.